The White Lily (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thewhitelily) wrote2008-11-10 09:50 pm
thewhitelily) wrote2008-11-10 09:50 pm
Entry tags:
Write or Die: Sometimes a Tough Choice
I have a confession to make. I'm desperately behind on my wordcount.
It's day ten. I should be passing 16,667 words today. I'm at 13,381. That doesn't sound so bad. It doesn’t sound as bad as it has been, because having added almost 3,000 words yesterday and 700 already today, I’ve been slowly managing to catch up. It's over eighty percent of the way to where I should be, which is pretty good, because when I was writing this post the first time, on Sunday, it was well under two thirds.
But hey, this is me. I don't fall behind, and that's for a very good reason. The moment I start feeling inadequate, start doubting I'll make it, I'm lost. So I get ahead early, power on adding words every single day without fail, feeling the ego-driven OCD pressure to get that gold star every single day, because otherwise, that day on the calendar wouldn’t be the same as all the others.
This year, I missed my first gold star on November 2nd. Being behind’s just so incredibly different. It’s terribly grim, constantly treading water trying not to fall further behind.
I’d planned to be back on top of things after this weekend, but at about midday on Saturday, the migraine aura hit, closely followed by the big kahuna herself. I whacked on some aspirin and ice packs instead, spent a few hours on my back in a darkened room, moaning quietly to myself, and finally emerged feeling woozy and a bit sore, but no longer praying for death.
Needless to say, the weekend didn’t help my word count as much as, perhaps, I might have hoped.
But I’ve made it to the end of week one, and now it’s week two. And a very long time ago, when I first felt the reality of the week two blues, I made myself a promise that I was never going to quit in week two. If I’m still behind at the beginning of week three--if I still want to commit mass genocide and consign this beautiful, potential-packed story to the “planning to finish it some day” pile on my hard drive then... I'll consider it. Quitting in week two is just completely out of the question.
So, having hopefully dealt with my week two blues in week one and got them out of the way, along comes Monday with its blessings: the pep talk from Chris Baty, promising that if we can all just manage 15,000 by the end of today, we’ll all be okay. And 15,000’s not so completely out of sight, is it?
The second factor in my new confidence is my discovery of Write or Die: Dr Wicked's Writing Lab. (Thanks, Renegade Writer!) Sprints usually work well for me, but they’ve dropped back in effectiveness this year (strangely correlated with the lack of general energy and motivation). Until now.
I’ve been too scared to hit a penalty once, and that’s only on “normal” mode, where it ominously flashes your screen and plays annoying sounds if you pause writing for too long, rather than Kamikaze, where it actually starts gobbling up your hard-earned words again. (!!)
Heh. I’m in. And if someone'll sprint with me, I'll even try out Kamikaze mode: that's a promise.
See you on the other side of 15,000. :)
Edit: 15,032, which gives me a total of 2357 words today and an early night, given it's only 11:42. And what do you know, it's even good stuff!
It's day ten. I should be passing 16,667 words today. I'm at 13,381. That doesn't sound so bad. It doesn’t sound as bad as it has been, because having added almost 3,000 words yesterday and 700 already today, I’ve been slowly managing to catch up. It's over eighty percent of the way to where I should be, which is pretty good, because when I was writing this post the first time, on Sunday, it was well under two thirds.
But hey, this is me. I don't fall behind, and that's for a very good reason. The moment I start feeling inadequate, start doubting I'll make it, I'm lost. So I get ahead early, power on adding words every single day without fail, feeling the ego-driven OCD pressure to get that gold star every single day, because otherwise, that day on the calendar wouldn’t be the same as all the others.
This year, I missed my first gold star on November 2nd. Being behind’s just so incredibly different. It’s terribly grim, constantly treading water trying not to fall further behind.
I’d planned to be back on top of things after this weekend, but at about midday on Saturday, the migraine aura hit, closely followed by the big kahuna herself. I whacked on some aspirin and ice packs instead, spent a few hours on my back in a darkened room, moaning quietly to myself, and finally emerged feeling woozy and a bit sore, but no longer praying for death.
Needless to say, the weekend didn’t help my word count as much as, perhaps, I might have hoped.
But I’ve made it to the end of week one, and now it’s week two. And a very long time ago, when I first felt the reality of the week two blues, I made myself a promise that I was never going to quit in week two. If I’m still behind at the beginning of week three--if I still want to commit mass genocide and consign this beautiful, potential-packed story to the “planning to finish it some day” pile on my hard drive then... I'll consider it. Quitting in week two is just completely out of the question.
So, having hopefully dealt with my week two blues in week one and got them out of the way, along comes Monday with its blessings: the pep talk from Chris Baty, promising that if we can all just manage 15,000 by the end of today, we’ll all be okay. And 15,000’s not so completely out of sight, is it?
The second factor in my new confidence is my discovery of Write or Die: Dr Wicked's Writing Lab. (Thanks, Renegade Writer!) Sprints usually work well for me, but they’ve dropped back in effectiveness this year (strangely correlated with the lack of general energy and motivation). Until now.
I’ve been too scared to hit a penalty once, and that’s only on “normal” mode, where it ominously flashes your screen and plays annoying sounds if you pause writing for too long, rather than Kamikaze, where it actually starts gobbling up your hard-earned words again. (!!)
Heh. I’m in. And if someone'll sprint with me, I'll even try out Kamikaze mode: that's a promise.
See you on the other side of 15,000. :)
Edit: 15,032, which gives me a total of 2357 words today and an early night, given it's only 11:42. And what do you know, it's even good stuff!