The White Lily (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thewhitelily) wrote2007-01-10 04:04 pm
thewhitelily) wrote2007-01-10 04:04 pm
Visual Artefacts
It's very difficult to write code when your head feels like it's in a vice and there's a discoloured wriggling/flashing line that looks like it's been sharpened waay too far in photoshop curving around the top and left of your point of focus.
Note to self: sugar and caffiene are not an effective long-term substitute for sleep.
Tonight's plan: go home, have a glass of wine and a long bath, and go to bed. No zine, no writing, no reading, no holiday planning, no photograph printing, no typing out the bits I know of my family tree back to the seventeenth century for random history researchers, no getting sucked into late night murder mysteries.
And no getting out of bed, even if I can't sleep.
Note to self: sugar and caffiene are not an effective long-term substitute for sleep.
Tonight's plan: go home, have a glass of wine and a long bath, and go to bed. No zine, no writing, no reading, no holiday planning, no photograph printing, no typing out the bits I know of my family tree back to the seventeenth century for random history researchers, no getting sucked into late night murder mysteries.
And no getting out of bed, even if I can't sleep.
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You better re-charge *really* thoroughly, Lily...
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Ah, I feel much better today, anyway.
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Oh! You mean the one that turns around on itself and makes a sideways eight but then within the loops it curves and vibrates and stuff so I don't know whether it's a string or an actual sideways eight or if that's precisely it? And then there's the colors. It's always so pretty and I want to reach up and touch it but when I do it always moves away and it's annoying as hell, since then when it moves it makes a sound and then since there's never just one, there's many, and they all make a sound and it's all different, and then it's quite fun since then I can move and I need to try and make them make pretty sounds, but it's hard figuring out which one makes which sounds since I can't find the link between color or how they vibrate and the sound they make definitively yet and it's really annoying. Well, since I get those ones all the time when it's boring around, like when there's not even things to look at outside of my head like in the white places. Scary thought, eh? :Pno subject
Hmmm, not quite the shape... it was more like... if I curve my hand at almost a right angle around the top and left of my eye - like I was shading it from the sun - and then move it out to around a foot away, and keep looking at the spot right in the middle where the other corner of the square would be. It was about the size and shape of my hand then. :) But the wriggly coloury vibrating string/thingo sounds pretty close.
And oooh, pretty sounds!
But fortunately I don't start getting visual artefacts unless my body's about to pack it in. Now I know the signs, so I can get a good meal and some sleep when my body basically goes: You Idiot! You haven't slept or eaten for three days, and you've been subsisting on a diuretic mixture of sugar and caffiene the whole time! This! Is! Not! Sustainable!
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When I don't sleep for a while, like a day or so if it's extended mania, but not actually feeling tired, I'll usually start seeing different sorts of things than I usually do. It usually gets less... coherent I guess, and more random. Rules that they seem to follow start breaking down. It's actually rather interesting to go back and read the socs I do thentimes since they usually have a commentary on things I see and it's so much fun to pick them apart to find patterns and movements within them and with other times. Like, one of the big things is something like synaesthesia almost. I see something, and then it's like cascade: my head will pick up on things that relate to it to other things in my head and then translate into things I can muss with around me, hallucinations (so like rice => chess => little red books and so forth) but then it's like... I don't know. Like, visual gets encoded into semantic and then into visual again and that will keep bouncing off of each other getting further from the original thought but then it's... not just visual and semantic since audio usually gets muddled into it (so maybe rice => justice => hephaestus) and then sometimes even smell or touch and I'll try and follow it in Ariya, and I've already muddled with that so later I can tell the triggers easily without having to write much more than a different dash. But, anyway. That stuff will usually ends when the mania breaks and I feel like sleeping again. Usually it breaks when... I don't know. Usually I get the extended manias when something got mussed in my head emotionally, and it's just time, waiting for the fever to pass. And I'm rambling *pokes self to shut up*