Sorry you've not been getting much feedback lately, I have all the sympathy for you. You write in pretty small fandoms don't you? I'm pretty lucky to write in pretty big ones, where if only a tiny fraction of people comment, it's something. It must be a bit soul destroying in a small fandoms - but makes what you do all the more valuable, really. :) I'm sure your fansubs were brilliant! *cheers for you*
And hah, yeah, I don't think 'writing for myself' has ever come automatically for me. Or, actually now I think about it, it does, but not as far as finishing things is concerned. I've got stacks of things I never finish, incoherent with only the interesting parts of sentences written, nonsensical except in the light of the story's headcanon, definitely completely unposted, and those I write only for me. But from the point where I decide: this one is worth it, I'm finishing this, and polishing it to the point where it will not give me a panic attack to let it go... that process is the hardest part for me, the part where the inspiration stops flowing and I have to keep on writing in my own blood. And that's for other people. It kind of has to be, because the point of that part of the process is framing those little jewels that came straight out of my heart in a way that other people will understand. I've already got the story after all, essentially as much as I need.
But I need to be doing that part for me too, to kick the plot bunny off the farm and stop it from taking up room in my head. And to actually achieve something tangible that I'm proud of, that I consider to be more worthwhile than a half-completed sketches that goes nowhere. That's seriously worthwhile for me, and the kudos/comments really have to be just icing. But I still like icing. ;)
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And hah, yeah, I don't think 'writing for myself' has ever come automatically for me. Or, actually now I think about it, it does, but not as far as finishing things is concerned. I've got stacks of things I never finish, incoherent with only the interesting parts of sentences written, nonsensical except in the light of the story's headcanon, definitely completely unposted, and those I write only for me. But from the point where I decide: this one is worth it, I'm finishing this, and polishing it to the point where it will not give me a panic attack to let it go... that process is the hardest part for me, the part where the inspiration stops flowing and I have to keep on writing in my own blood. And that's for other people. It kind of has to be, because the point of that part of the process is framing those little jewels that came straight out of my heart in a way that other people will understand. I've already got the story after all, essentially as much as I need.
But I need to be doing that part for me too, to kick the plot bunny off the farm and stop it from taking up room in my head. And to actually achieve something tangible that I'm proud of, that I consider to be more worthwhile than a half-completed sketches that goes nowhere. That's seriously worthwhile for me, and the kudos/comments really have to be just icing. But I still like icing. ;)